The universe responds

May 14th, 2011
Blog #10

The universe responds

What happens when you get what you want. When things fall into place and you stop feeling out of place. Everything is different now, everything makes sense. Yet I don’t understand why. Did my outlook change or did my environment? Back in January I asked to be more active, to use my body in a challenging way, and to have a physical sense of self; which I’ve been missing in my life. This wasn’t about joining a gym or exercising; it was about feeling again. Feeling aches, pain, and sweat. Falling and getting up again, pushing the limits.

How did the universe answer this need? In a way that made sense for me as an individual? Of course not! Cheerleading. Yes, cheerleading. I decided to go to IBWE- International Business Weekend in Moilets, France with a group of students from school. Basically it’s a big yearly gathering of 500+ students from 10 countries (the participating universities in the network). Each country is a team who competes in various sports and activities which add up to points, eventually leading to the awarding of a ‘world’ cup.

I was hesitant at first to be part of the cheerleading aspect of the competition. It reminds me too much of high school and the scene I didn’t particularly like. Dancing in front of people like that makes me uncomfortable. I feel exposed, especially physically. And that’s not the kind of stage I enjoy being on. Nonetheless, I went for it. Mainly because I wanted to contribute to the team and I figured it was a good way to get out of my comfort zone. Two months of practices, a lot of bruises, and the occasional tears….we made it to IBWE and placed 3rd. A big accomplishment for such a small team representing Italy.

It really wasn’t about what activity I was doing but rather how it motivated me to make some positive changes in my routine. I began daily stretching to prevent injuries from practices. I became more aware of what nutrients I was eating each day, and making sure I was getting enough protein since my diet is lacking meat. After the initial embarrassment, I started to feel more comfortable with my body in motion, even when it wasn’t so graceful when I was dancing.

More and more I’m starting to realize how my time abroad is creating so many opportunities for me that I wouldn’t necessarily be open to at home. I don’t have the choice here to do what I want (music), so I have to express myself in other ways. This is a growth experience for me. It’s also a way to prove to myself that I can do so much more than I think I’m capable of, and maybe sometimes the only thing holding me back is my own self-esteem issues. For this, I’m so grateful that I have another year here to continue to learn. This isn’t about a degree or a career; this is about being young and living a life of open doorways, where everyday I can shift paths freely and without any limitations holding me back.

Jackie <3