Unfinished Business

Blog #13
September 29, 2011

Unfinished Business

A new year brings new challenges. It feels good to be on my own again, in my apartment taking care of my business. But at the same time, I feel a knot in my stomach that grows larger each day. The beginning of a new school year usually represents excitement and starting fresh, but the ghosts of my past are haunting me and preventing that experience. Sad to think that this is my last “first day of school” excitement. And yet it’s not mine to experience due to unfinished business.

Constantly driven by the need to plan and stay on track, I’m frustrated that I’m missing an exam that is preventing me from graduating with my peers in October. Especially since the exam was thrown on me unexpectedly and not part of my curriculum. But I’m dealing with the issue head on, I just have to change the nature of my plans and my expectations. The program that I’m doing is more important than how long it takes me to succeed at it.

Why are we so haunted by our unfinished business? It makes me think of the movie Casper the friendly ghost and his desire to feel complete, even after death. Maybe because unfinished business is associated with regrets and imperfection. It has such a negative connotation to it. As we race towards the imaginary finish line, our unfinished business becomes a weight on our shoulders, slowing down our pace and creating additional stress. I’m determined to not let my shortcomings slow down my race. We can all make it to the desired finish line, we just might have to take the scenic route instead of the fast lane. I’m used to getting lost on roads anyway.

Jackie <3